Leading Without Judgment

Are Your Values Creating the Problem?

It's so easy to judge the behavior of others and perceived failings of ourselves. Even when we make significant progress on multiple projects, we often focus on what we haven't done yet or 'should' have done more of and better. The result is we, as the classic Rolling Stones song says, 'I just can't get no satisfaction'.

No wonder so many leaders who are doing great work still feel frustrated. You're working as hard and fast as you can, yet always feel woefully behind schedule. What if the problem (you internalized) isn't you? What if the problem is your values?

This is what my client Tim discovered when he slowed down enough to see that what he thought he valued was the problem. Here's a recap of that part of our coaching conversation.

Tim: Since we last talked, I've had a 'come-to-Jesus' moment.

Me: Really! What was that?

Tim: I finally got that it's okay for me to slow down. And that has changed the whole game of business for me.

Me: How so?

Tim: Letting go of the idea that I have to work nonstop in order to drive mega-results in my business has freed me to narrow my focus, stop feeling scattered, think and act more strategically. I realized that as a leader I was judging myself and my team harshly because I had some mistaken notions about what I valued.

When I looked at why we were so overscheduled and overcommitted, I could see I had confused busyness with what I value -- progress. This confusion was also apparent in my team. We have all been moving at such breakneck speeds that even our accomplishments are a blur. This realization caused me to reassess what I value about progress -- the fun of engaging in a challenge to achieve amazing results. Instead, my team and I have been running nonstop adrenalin races to 'faster, bigger and better results'. No wonder team morale is low and we've been struggling to get the right results.

I've been less effective as a leader because my belief that I had to work nonstop to drive mega-results was masquerading as 'progress'. My confusion compounded our problems. Well, I'm ready to change that situation.

Me: Congratulations on the clarity you've gained about the counterproductive role that busyness has played in the challenges you and your team face. Given what you know now, what are you ready to do differently?

Tim: That's what I want to brainstorm with you today.

Me: Perfect! Let begin...

Non-Judgmental Approach

As a leader, you too can stop judging yourself and your team so harshly. Instead, stop multi-tasking for a few minutes and ask yourself: What have I been valuing that actually is creating problems for me and my team?