EMBRACE, EMBODY & EXPRESS YOUR LEADERSHIP WISDOM
As a leader, it's easy to forget the power in letting go of the familiar. Because letting go takes Courage. Yet in the end we only regret the chances that we didn't take. So in what way could you surrender to a positive change in your leadership, business or life by simply letting go?
It may not be the way you want.
It may not be what you think you need.
Yet, when you're willing to let go of expectations and allow what wants to emerge to come forth, there's always a way.
Years of research by physicists tell us that what we focus on expands. Finding your way begins with you shifting your focus from the problem to what could be possible if you became very curious about solutions. For as Einstein said...
No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.
This change in your inner state of being frees you to trust your inner guidance and lead with resilience in the direction your path is taking you.
We meet our destiny on the path we take to avoid it.
You know how you carefully think through what you want to say and do, and the positive impact you’d like to have with someone with whom you’ve experienced some tension?
How you’re anxious or agitated and not intending to display or express any of that?
Then you begin to speak or write to this human with your well-planned words, or you show them whatever it is you think they need to see or read…
And the s**t hits the fan.
They are not pleased or grateful or enlightened in the slightest.
You scratch your head and wonder why your sincere intentions and truth-telling has had the opposite impact you intended. “What did I DO wrong? ..."What happened?”
If you’re still relying on the combination of your brain – chock full of biases, cultural conditioning and lies, and traumatizing memories – and your action-taking to create positive impact, you need to take a quick listen to the wisdom of Sylvia Warren in this 3-minute gem of a recording.
Compassion moves us beyond empathy to stand in another person's shoes. And, the elegantly provocative poems of Nayyirah Waheed invite us into the depths of Being Human, where our vast capacity for compassion awaits our arrival.
Photo by James Connolly on Unsplash
Navigating other people's expectations can be challenging. Patience and persistence in clarifying exactly what another person's expectations are and reaching mutual agreement about them takes focus, effort, and often serious communication skills. Yet like most leadership and business best practices, ultimately your success depends on how well you understand the true nature of your own expectations.
Knowing the needs your expectations are attempting to meet can keep you from being blown off course by your own hidden agendas. So as I share in the audio below, give yourself some space and time to...
This isn't readily apparent because our attempts to adjust and keep moving forward limit our focus and deplete our energy even more. And, we end up operating with diminished capacity without realizing it.
I see this all the time with leaders and their teams. It's as if you have waited a little too long to put oxygen masks on yourself and your brain is more stared for oxygen than they know.
Of course, there is a remedy - like 'pure oxygen' - for this creeping deprivation of energy and resilience.
When the best in you is cultivated by your leader and work culture, you bring a keener sense of focus, commitment and endurance to the challenges you face. In productive yet challenging environments you feel safe enough to experiment and make mistakes. Individual and collective/team contributions are supported and recognized. So progress and results end up being more remarkable than you ever imagined possible.
If this thriving environment is not available in the culture where you work, find simple yet consistent ways to give genuine encouragement, recognition and appreciation to yourself and your team. Whenever possible, walk in nature to experience a natural energy reset. Notice how much more resilent you feel. And, notice the positive impact your attitudinal and behavioral shifts in the environment have on individual and team engagement, performance and results.
That indecision which haunts you. The not knowing that worries you. The second guessing that stops you. Ease away from that doubt and fear. Because... it's time now to be kind and compassionate with yourself. Even though you don't know yet what you think you need to know to move forward, pause that thought. Instead, consciously choose to take 1 next step. Allow that next step to reveal the one that follows it. Step-by- step be brave enough to voyage beyond your known frontiers to where unknown yet self-fulfilling transformation patiently awaits your arrival. Courage comes from the heart. So let your heart lead you.
They help you regain a natural sense of yourself - calming and centering you within to step into undiscovered territory. Emboldened, you begin to find a way forward, navigating volatile, unpredictable, chaotic and ambiguous challenges.
In this photo I'm standing in front an ancient Venetian fountain in Zadar, Croatia just a ferry ride across the Adriatic from Italy. It was a great trip, but very different from what I expected to experience when I planned it. So I had to make daily adjustments to differences that, although not terrible, differed significantly from my expectations and what I wanted to experience.
Normally, when I travel I keep my expectations much more open-ended. That way I step into the unknown with curiosity and a genuine sense of exploration and discovery. This time I returned to Croatia with more of an agenda. Even though my natural flexibility enabled me to "go with the flow" of changes I experienced, I was very conscious of the extra energy it took to manage my expectations along the way. Next time, when I return to Croatia, I'll make sure my expectations are set in their normal travel mode. That will free me to have an even better time there, and elsewhere.
Travel requires us to manage our expectations so they don't become part of the problem that confronts us. Clearly, we cannot control flight delays or cancellations, the availability of food and comfort at airports, or when hotel accommodations fall short of website descriptions. What we can control, however, is what we expect from these experiences and how we make adjustments when they don't measure up to our expectations.
Travel invites us to explore and discover ways to navigate the unknown and deal effectively with unexpected change. When we adapt, we see ways to become part of the solution we seek.
For years, I have relied on a useful practice I call "shifting to neutral." Deciding to remain calm and not react to potentially irritating disruptions helps me navigate with relative ease a mirage of domestic and international security checkpoints, long lines at ticket counters and customs, unexpected flight delays, and unfamiliar airports.
This quiet practice of "shifting to neutral" also could help you regain a sense of inner balance—emotionally and mentally—in business, leadership and life. It starts with recognizing what you can and cannot control. Then, when a person or situation begins to upset you, you immediately disconnect from that irritating or disappointing energy by imagining yourself pulling the cable and plug (through which that negative energy is moving toward you) out of its power source. This drains off the energy—dissipating its effect on you. It frees you to remain calm, centered and clear.
Practice "shifting to neutral" and notice whether it works for you. Like my clients, discover how this simple 'playful practice' helps you to maintain a sense of inner balance even when dealing with difficult people or situations. That way, navigating change becomes less of an energy drain and more manageable.
In these radically challenging times, I think you will agree these skills are invaluable—whether you are traveling or not.
Funny thing about "right timing." It has a way of not showing up when you think it should. Instead you find yourself waiting with impatience and anxiety in "the in-between" - a space between what has already happened and what has not happened yet.
What if this space where nothing seems to be happening is present for you to pause and catch up with yourself? What if it is an invitation to see without being in constant motion where you are now, given the months, weeks and days it has taken you to get there.
"The in-between" is a place where you can pause, breathe in, see, appreciate and savor what you achieved during this leg of your journey in business, leadership and life. Looking back at the distance you have traveled, you lean into and embody more deeply your professional and personal growth. Who you are now has more room to be self-expressed.
Such is the beauty and the power of patiently allowing "the in-between" to reveal its riches to you.
Simply the Best Coaching helps inclusive women leaders experience new ways of seeing, thinking, feeling, knowing and acting to help them navigate the noise, confusion and chaos of energy depleting challenges and unprecedented—Epic—change.
Sylvia Warren, MBA, coaches inclusive women leaders, culture shifters, and entrepreneurial innovators to thrive as leaders — so they engage more fruitfully in difficult conversations, confidently make wise strategic decisions, and expand their influence and impact to create meaningful lasting results without forfeiting who they are or what they value.
