Are You Saying "NO!" Enough?

The Power of a Positive "NO!"

Why You Don't Say NO!

Which of these 3 reasons keep you from finding your essential "YES!"?

1.  Accommodation

• You want to say "No!"
• Instead you say "yes" to please or gain approval from the person or people asking.
• You also don't know how to say "No!" to the request.

2.  Avoidance

• You don't return phone calls, respond to emails, or put off getting back to the person or people making the request.
• You're very uncomfortable or afraid to say "No!" because you do not want to upset, hurt or offend the person or people asking.
• You don't know how to say "No!" nicely.

3.  Anger/Attack

• You really do not want to say "Yes".
• You're angry at yourself for feeling like you can't say "No!" 
• You begrudgingly say "yes" but with very negative agreement.

Power Up with a "No!" Sandwich

Start with Your Genuine "Yes!" (top slice of bread)

• Know the value on which you stand, what saying "No" actually allows you to say "Yes!" to—your big, most authentic "YES!"
• Based on what you really value, ask yourself what saying "No!" allows you to say "Yes!" to that keeps you true to yourself.

State Your Positive "No!" (meat in the middle)

• Prepare the person asking to receive your positive "No!"
• Stand firmly in a commitment to your value-rooted, genuine "Yes!" and say your positive "No!" from that place within yourself.

Consider Ending with "Yes!" (bottom slice of bread)

• Start with your decision to say a Positive "No!"
• Then, if appropriate, choose what you are willing to do that is different from what is being requested of you.
• "I am willing to ____________________________________________ (fill in the blank).

Using this "No!" sandwich empowers you to say a Positive "NO!" It also takes you out of the unproductive loop of trying to please people or gain their approval. Instead it's possible for you to please and approve of yourself without being selfish or egotistical.

Of course, if you would like help learning and embodying this critical leadership skill, contact me. I would be happy to assist you in communicating your Positive "NO!" in difficult conversations and challenging situations.

Easier Than You Think

Manage Your Focus

When faced with sudden opportunities, unexpected decisions, or unclear next steps, do you consider how your response could feed the deeper aspects of who you are?

Too often nerviousness, excitement and a real sense of urgency blur our focus and muddy our view of novel yet available options.

Yet there is an easier way to navigate our natural feelings and the conflicting thoughts accompanying them.

Strange as it sounds, stop trying to figure out what to do. Allow curiosity to shift the way you look at what's possible.

Interrupt your thoughts. Instead of paying attention to your questions about "how you should" respond, quiet your mind with genuine appreciation: "Thank you for sharing." This gratitude calms your thoughts by letting your mind know that it has done its job and can relax.

Next, give yourself more mental, physical and emotional space.

You can do this in a lot of effortless ways. Pause for a few moments. Breathe slowly and deeply. Stretch... Stare with soft focus at the sky... Listen to soothing sounds... Walk in nature.

Then, when you feel more spaciousness inside and around you, consider  less-explored and surprisingly useful questions.

Question Your Questions

1. What assumptions am I making?
2. What am I not seeing—obvious or subtle?
3. What else might be possible here?
4. What deeper needs could be nourished?

Allow your unconscious to explore these questions and give you answers in unexpected ways. Put away your phone and let your mind wander while you

• Wait in line at a store
• Do household chores
• Walk the dog or feed the cat
• Listen to the conversation of strangers.

Notice how answers to your questions begin to take shape in these everyday settings. Let the clarity you receive turn your decisiveness into rewarding results.

Find Your Fascination Power!

What Fascinates You Most?

Whatever your greatest fascination is, it runs like a river through your work or business, leadership and life.

For me, it's journeying into the unknown to discover and experience wonders living there. That's why I love helping clients deal with troublesome and complex leadership, professional and business challenges―their uncharted territory.

While the landscape and terrain of what's not working for them is known to me, clients' inner and outer adventures reveal to them their unique courage, commitment and confidence. This frees them to create meaningful results and thrive as leaders. Their transformational journeys―the practical steps, simple elegant solutions, and inner peace clients experience―always fascinates me.

Visible or Invisible?

If your greatest fascination is invisible to you, it's hidden in plain sight. Often it lurks inside pressing problems that push you way outside your comfort zone.

Funny thing is, your difficult decisions and stubborn challenges provoke less anxiety when you know and understand what fascinates you.

This knowing shines a light on how your fascination is attracted to certain types of problems because dealing with them offers a strongly desired sense of satisfaction.

This certainly is the case for the women leaders I coach. When we uncover the roots of what fascinates them, their body relaxes and their minds become quiet and alert.

The significant script change in their inner story shifts the way they view the outer world. Instead of things happening to them, they see things happening with them. And, problems become opportunities to experience the fullness of their fascination power.

Experience the Difference

One client spent years dealing with extremely stressful complex changes at work only to find herself struggling to navigate a different set of worrisome changes in her own business.

When she realized her greatest fascination was her persistent love of learning, she saw how this deep natural desire was at play in all her stressful attempts to navigate big challenging changes. So she decided to pay close attention to what she learns from complex change that keeps her fascinated.

This focus expanded her awareness, deepened her understanding, and crystalized her knowing. She shifted out of overwhelm and felt free to engage differently in her growing business. Now as an entrepreneur, wife and mother, she navigates predictable and unpredictable changes in her business and life with a dynamic sense of balance and inner peace. By helping clients with their difficult problems, she is putting her natural fascination with complex change to even greater use.

Uncover Your Uniqueness

When you understand your deepest fascination, what it values, and the role it' like to play, you can turn what fascinates you most into a valuable ally.

Discover the wisdom and power of your own natural fascination. Learn how it can work wonders for you in business, leadership and life.

Schedule a complimentary 30-minute Discover Your Powerful Fascination Session today.